28 Things I Learned at 28

In three days I turn 29 and start my 30th trip around the sun. While it’s crazy to think about the fact that I’m entering the last year of my 20’s, I’m so grateful for the lessons I’ve started or continued to learn in the last year of my life. So today I wanted to share some of them with you. Some are serious, some are funny, but all helped me have the best year ever.

1. One of the greatest gift you can give yourself, is learning how to create healthy boundaries. It is possible to say no kindly and put yourself first.

2. Not all mashed potatoes are gross. When you whip them with a hand mixer they can actually be quite tasty.

3. You can be the happiest you’ve ever been in life and still struggle with anxiety. For me this was the turning point in knowing that I needed to talk to my doctor about medications.

4. Harry Potter is really as great as they said it was. Scratch that, it was better and it changed my life.

5. Writing a cookbook is hard, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. If you have a goal that you’ve always wanted to go after, start.

6. Speaking of starting, it’s never too early or too late to start something.

7. Game of Thrones is also as great as they said it was. Thank you Mikey for this and Harry Potter.

8. While I thought being an aunt to two nieces was the best feeling in the world, being an aunt to three is in fact EVEN BETTER!

9. The proper anxiety medication for you will not change your personality. You will feel more you and it is great.

10. Friendships are sometimes meant for a season of life and that’s ok.

11. While you may think it’s impossible love your significant other any more than you already do, every day will continue to surprise you and you will find ways you didn’t even know existed (i.e. when he becomes an uncle, your heart will swell each and every time he looks at that baby).

12. You can survive without caffeine…but you don’t have to. haha I did it for 6 months but am happy to have it back.

13. You can weigh the most you’ve ever weighed in your life and feel the most beautiful you’ve ever felt. Caring for your body and being active is a privilege and we should treat every opportunity to move as a gift. Shifting my focus from how much I was working out to just being and moving, changed my life.

14. Injuring your tailbone is really painful and you will cry a lot and feel defeated, but you are stronger than you realize.

15. It’s ok to ask for help.

16. It’s really fun to go to bed at 9 pm on a Friday and wake up refreshed for the weekend.

17. Relaxing without feeling guilty is possible.

18. Buying less and from smaller woman-owned businesses is a phenomenal way to add more joy to your life. Surrounding yourself with carefully crafted items from strong and smart women is amazing.

19. Support your friends and never stop expressing the gratitude you have for those around you who support you. We all need each other.

20. Oreos can fix pretty much any kitchen mishap. They make a great appetizer, main course, or side dish when life throws you for a loop.

21. Social media doesn’t have to be a negative black hole of comparison. You are in control of who is in your feed, so CHOOSE WISELY.

22. You don’t have to make a lot of money to pay off your student loan debt, save money, etc. It’s not about how much you make, but how you spend what you make. Budget and make great choices and you can become debt free. This WILL be my last birthday with student loan debt. I am almost FREE!

23. Cancel the plans. If your mind and body are telling you to rest and say no, say no. Again boundaries. Those who matter won’t mind.

24. Being vulnerable can be really scary, especially when you’re sharing on the internet and you don’t know who’s reading. However, by being vulnerable, you have the ability to connect with others and help them by seeing they aren’t alone. This is so worth it!

25. Mikey is still the greatest human and I am the most grateful person ever to get to call him mine. Not a day goes by that I do not thank God for his patience, strength, support, & love.

26. Your business will have seasons, just like life does. It’s ok to be extremely productive one week and unfocused & slower the next. You are human and as long as you are still moving in the right direction, you are moving. Rest is ok.

27. You don’t need one hundred friends.  Just a couple of REALLY great ones who will always have your back, and tell you which bathroom is best to poop in....

28. Aging is the real greatest gift.  I love myself more at 28 than I did at 27 and I am so happy to be living this beautiful life that was given to me. I can’t wait to see how I love myself at 29.

Thanks for being so great to me 28. See you on the other side at 29  friends.

I love ya,

Andrea

January Schmanuary

I’m sure you’ve all seen the memes joking about how January has felt like it’s lasted a year (I just posted one to my own stories…so I’m with you). I knew at the beginning of the month I wanted to reflect on January when it was over because first off, I’m big on self reflection, but secondly, I was curious to see how it compared to January 2018. So here we go. While these reasons might not apply to you specifically, the purpose of this post is to get you to think and self reflect about your own first month of the year. Self reflection is my greatest tool for making changes in my life and learning how to grow.

This month threw me for a freaking loop. I started it off feeling refreshed from extra time off around the holidays, spending much of it with family and generally feeling ready to tackle the new year. I’m not one to set new years resolutions, but I have always been excited to jump into new goals and get going again.

So I went on my merry way, creating timelines and ideas for Andrea Fontana Beauty, announcing my cookbook, and overall feeling really good about where I was heading. I was blessed enough to welcome a new niece into the world within the first week and things were really looking great! But then the next morning, I slipped on ice and bruised my tailbone terribly by falling down concrete stairs. At that moment the energy changed for the whole month. I thankfully had a mastermind weekend full of inspiration the following weekend, and while I thought this would prevent me from feeling low, it didn’t.

I spent the majority of it feeling frustrated, lazy, and mad at myself. But, if I could pick one way to describe how I felt at the end of January 2018: anxiety. If I could sum up how I felt at the end of January 2019: anxiety.

Anyone else sensing a pattern here besides me? Haha I’ve noticed on social media that this seems to be a common trend for others, so let’s dig in here a little bit. Why do I feel so anxious when I start the year off?

Goals are great, don’t get me wrong, but I struggle with the constant ‘DON’T EVER STOP WORKING’ mentality that you can find among the entrepreneurship community. Que the ‘Beyonce has the same number of hours in a day as you do’ memes. The ideal that there is always something you can be working on is great, but honestly poses a real threat for me because I’m a person who doesn’t know how to shut off sometimes. I can get going, full steam ahead, and forget about how to care for myself and to simply just sit and be.

Overall, I’m a person who enjoys schedules. I like to plan and know where I’m going to be one month, or even 3 months out. A lot of that is because the nature of the wedding industry involves planning so far out in advance, but I can be shaken by large changes to my schedule. Last January and this January both posed the same threats to my anxiety. Two situations, completely out of my control.

I’m hoping tomorrow when the calendar changes from January to February, I’m able to shake off the guilt of losing my entire workout regimen that I had cultivated for months and also not really working much this past week with the polar vortex. I was able to start fresh last February and look at it as a new month, so I’m hoping to see a similar trend this year.

So what have I learned?

My new theme of January is going to be GRACE. Give myself grace with the fact that January just is not, and maybe will never be my month, and THAT IS OK! I will probably not work as much as every other month and that is ok. It will likely include snow days and cancelled plans, and that is ok. I may fall on ice and not be able to visit my gym for a whole month, and that is ok. I might not put out as many blog posts as I wanted to, and that is ok.

Because here’s the thing. It’s going to be ok. Anxiety has this weird ability to trickle down into every category of your life and make you feel like you are a failure. But guess what, you are not. I am not.

I’m personally trying to view my life in a more seasonal way, as opposed to needing every month to look the same all year. I may run more in the summer than in the winter, but that’s just what life is. Seasons of success and seasons of rest. Both can exist at the same time. Sometimes resting is succeeding. Sometimes running too fast is failing you. Regardless, GIVE yourself grace when it comes to goals and do not let yourself think for a second that you are not doing a good enough job.

You are enough and I am here for you if you want to talk about this more.

I hope February is kind to you, regardless of what January looked like.

Andrea

Five Ways to Make Social Media a Healthier Place For Yourself

It’s no secret that social media can play a toxic role in the comparison of our lives with others. In one click you can be transported into what looks like a much happier and fun life of someone you’ve never met. We are all guilty of it. While I believe that there are many negatives that can come from social media, I also think there are a lot of really positive things that can come of it as well. If you take social media with a grain of salt, focus on not comparing your life to the highlights of other people’s lives, it can be a really cool place.

Today I wanted to share five ways that you can make social media a healthier place for yourself. I want to encourage you to set boundaries and use it the way that works best for yourself. However, only you know what that means. So take these ideas and change them however you need to make social media a positive and constructive place for you to be inspired and connect with other people.

While none of this is ground breaking information, I just want it to serve you as a reminder to make sure you are using social media to respect and love yourself. So let’s get started!

1. Delete accounts that impact you negatively.

   If there is an account that always brings about ill feelings, sadness, jealously, or desires for things or a life you don’t actually want, DELETE it. You heard me. Choose to follow accounts that inspire & teach you, make you laugh, and more. You do not have to follow people just because they follow you, if it’s not going to constructively contribute to your life.

2. Set boundaries for when you use social media.

   If viewing social media brings anxiety or stress, definitely don’t use it before bed time. It’s important to feel calm and at peace when trying to sleep and we all know screen time isn’t the best choice for this. If you know that you can easily end up mindlessly scrolling for hours when you’re supposed to be accomplishing some other task, maybe give yourself a specific amount of time you are allowed to be on social media. Cutting back will also help you focus on what you’re doing in the moment. Be present.

3. Share a more authentic part of yourself.

   One of my favorite things about social media is the community that can be created by sharing certain things about your life. The more you share of the real you (if you’re comfortable with it), the more you can connect with others who may be going through the same thing. You may find support from people you never expected. I strive to share open and real moments with my followers because I want to break away from the ‘everything’s fun and perfect’ view that social media often present to people.

4. Use social media to uplift your friends and make people laugh.

   One of my favorite things about social media is the ability to tag friends in funny or inspiring posts. You never know what people are going through in that moment and it’s nice to be tagged in things that can randomly make you laugh or smile. I love social media’s ability to connect me with my friends that are far away, in an instant and send them some love. Fill your social media use with positivity.

5. Cut the comparisons.

   No one’s life is as dandy and fun looking as it is on social media. We all have bad days. We all have things happen to us out of our control. This one is just a reminder that only YOU know what’s best for you. Shift your focus on social media from one of wanting to be like others and using it to instill happiness and realness all around you instead. Check yourself when you find that you are thinking negative things and FIND A CUTE PUPPY PICTURE.

Remember: You are YOU and there is no amount of Instagram likes that can top that magic.

Have beautiful day,

Andrea

Tips for Practicing REAL Self Care

I realized recently that I haven't shared a topic on here that I talk about a lot in my non-blog life. I am just going to come out and say that I hate the phrase 'Self Care'. It's not so much the term that I hate but the trend that it has become in today's world. Stay with me. I think that taking time to yourself is crucial, but let me explain why I feel this way.

I find that the phrase 'self care' has become a trendy word for procrastination and a gold mine for the marketing of products to us. 'Practice self care and buy this bath bomb...you deserve it.' I know you've seen these campaigns and messages and frankly it frustrates the crap out of me. Taking a bubble bath is really great but if you have several things that you need to get done that night, a bubble bath can wait until tomorrow. However, if labeled as a 'self care' moment, it's fine to push off your priorities. 

If we are so stressed that we need to take a break and pause for a minute to take a bubble bath, I believe true self care is figuring out what is causing these moments of burning out and readjusting your life so it doesn't keep happening. It's crazy to keep doing the same things and expecting life to get easier if we don't self reflect and make some changes. There are no products that are going to fix the unbalanced life we are living, so today I'm offering you some tips to truly practice REAL self care and dig deeper into the stress of our lives. Use self care to really change your lifestyle so you can set yourself up for success and reduce stress and anxiety. 

Please be sure to comment below with your thoughts on the 'self care' trend and whether you agree or disagree with me.

6 questions to ask yourself to practice REAL self care:

1. What is one area of my house that I can tidy to relieve some anxiety? I am a huge believer in the idea that if your environment is messy, you will feel more anxious. Is there one space that you look at day in and day out, that could be tidier? Spend some time tackling it and I guarantee it will make your home more pleasant. 

2. What is the one thing on my To-Do list that would relieve some stress if I just did it? We all have those things on our lists that are either tedious tasks or simply no fun, but need to get done. Recognize this task as being annoying and just do it. Think about how relieved you will feel when it's done and carry that thought with you through the process to motivate you to complete it.

3. What is one thing that I don't want to think about right now but need to? This could be in many different categories of life. Sometimes we push things off or put them on the back burner because we don't want to think about them, but acknowledging them can take a huge weight off our chests. Debt is a great example of this. If you have no idea how much you owe in student loans, car loans, etc....ADD IT UP! The scariest part is looking at that total number, but once you do it, you can create a plan to get rid of it. 

4. How would I feel if I didn't let these anxious thoughts affect me? Sometimes we need to practice self care because we can't get out of our own heads. Trust me, I'm right there with you. But if we take a moment to think about how we would feel if we didn't let the stress and anxiety affect us, we give the anxiety less power and it's easier to think through it. Really try to think about the actual emotions you could be feeling instead.

5. Who can I call to just listen to me work through this stress and anxiety? Something that is really helpful for me to do is to talk to a close friend about whatever is bothering me. Venting in a sense and getting it all out, can be all we really need to feeling better. Sometimes it's helpful to hear someone say yes this is stressful and it's okay to feel this way. For me however, I like doing this because often it's helpful to have my best friend say what's the worst that could happen. 

6. Do I have a habit that I don't like and what can I do to stop it? Sometimes we don't realize the habits that we have created unless we measure them. I recommend to friends all the time to track what they spend their time doing and what the pros & cons are for each activity. If you don't like the habits you see, work to get rid of them! If it's a pretty big habit, look for support in your community to break it! 

Overall these questions encourage self reflection which I am HUGE on! I talk about it all the time with people because I believe it is so important to make changes when it's necessary and redirect what we are doing on a daily basis. I hope these questions encourage you to practice REAL self care and change your lifestyle for the better instead of supressing it with another bath bomb.  

Have a beautiful day,

Andrea

Things that I'm Recently Loving

Hello again!

Today isn't about products. It's more about activities and ways I've been trying to turn negativity into positivity. I mentioned in my last post that 2018 got off to a bad start and last week was no different. Haha I'd love to say that my positive attitude really propelled me through my problems, but at times I wanted to curl up in a ball in my bed and not take on the day. 

However, I did learn some pretty great things last week about myself and I'd like to think that I've grown a little bit as a person. Hooray self reflection? How's that going for you so far? Great I hope.

When stressed, I like to take my frustrations and channel that energy into productivity. Maybe it's because it distracts me a little bit from other things going on, but I like to think of it as a positive thing to not allow myself to completely shut down and actually curl into that ball in my bed.

This productivity I speak of is where this post comes into play. I wanted to share some things that have kept me sane the last two weeks. I started some healthier habits and it's like the universe was telling me to take better care of myself because it knew I would need a little extra love to start this year off. So I want to share some things that have shifted my focus and brought attention to things that I love doing and have gotten out of the habit of enjoying. 

Yoga. I used to do so much yoga. Mostly at home practice, but frequently I would start my day with a little time on my mat devoted to myself. I love the YouTube channel by Adriene Mishler called Yoga With Adriene (YWA). She is easily my favorite for doing yoga at home. She does these 30 day challenges every so often, where she posts a video for 30 days straight and really guides you in many ways to grow your practice. I have done them before so when I saw that True (the current challenge) was starting January 2nd, I knew I had to sign up. I'm not going to lie. I have cried a few times while doing my daily yoga practice because she always seems to know what my body and mind need. I don't even know how much more stressed I would be if it wasn't for this challenge right now. I highly recommend checking her out. 

Reading. I have so many books on my bookshelves that haven't been devoured yet and this week I picked the biggest one up that I had and started reading. I haven't been able to put it down yet and it made me really thankful for the ability of books to take you to knew locations, cultures, and stories. I love how a good book can captivate you and distract you from things you need to be distracted from. You're probably curious what book it is now, and that's The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne and holy cow! Don't let the almost 600 pages scare you. It sucked me in from the first few pages and I haven't let it go yet. I can't speak for the whole book, so I will keep you updated once I have finished it. 

Reaching out to friends for help. I don't know about you, but sometimes I need to say things out loud to friends in order to get them out of my system so I can move forward. I just need the reassurance from the people who know me best that I am making the right decision. Again this is builds off what I said on Sunday but it's ok to ask for help. Invite a friend over for wine or tea and hash through some things that have been giving you anxiety. I did this multiple times last week with friends and my boyfriend and it's a huge lifesaver for me. 

Cooking. There's something comforting about creating a nice meal when I'm stressed that feels relaxing. While I didn't cook as much as normal last week because of how busy I was, I still find that when I pour myself into a creative outlet it brings me a sense of accomplishment to be able to create something, even if other areas of life aren't going as planned. Basically I'm giving myself confidence in areas that I can to help me feel like I can conquer the stressful things too.  So I guess this one is more so a recommendation to find a creative outlet for yourself so you can release that frustration and feel better.

Remind myself of my why. Sometimes I need a reminder as to what I'm working at in life when things don't go my way. Remembering your 'why' allows you to put things into perspective and refocus your attention so that you can move forward. I like to think about the things I'm passionate about and remind myself how worth it it'll be when I've accomplished my goals. 

What are your favorite ways to refocus and turn negativity into positivity? Please share in a comment below so we can continue this conversation and help each other!

Have a beautiful week,

Andrea Fontana

Julia Does a Guest Post!

Happy Monday friends! 

Today I bring you a guest post by my beautiful friend Julia! She has a wonderful blog called 'Fit, Fat, and All That' that is about her journey with fitness, healthy living and most importantly self love. We decided to collaborate and write a post for each other's blogs so that is what you will read below! If you'd like to see my post on her blog go visit her link below, but most importantly take some time to read her posts because they are awesome and very inspirational! 

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Hi all! I am so excited to be doing a guest post for Dre! I absolutely love her blog...I mean come on, she's amazing at make-up and always looks flawless! I love how she talks about accentuating your best assists but also accepting your flaws. I think it's a great message, because no one is perfect. Not even those models in magazines, they don't even look like that, because they are all photoshopped! (Stupid if ya ask me...) 
Anywho.....
A little about me... 
My name is Julia and I write a blog called Fit, Fat, and All That! It's a blog about my journey to living a healthy AND happy life. I have always struggled with my weight, eating, and body image since I was a teenager. I've tried everything from binging and purging, restricting calories, and even tried using those awful diet pills...nothing was working because I wanted a solution fast! I wanted nothing more than to be skinny and all I did was bash my body. I felt awful in my own skin and was constantly worrying about how I looked...and then it finally all changed. My blog talks about my journey to accepting the body I'm in and how I finally started to love my curves and my strength. 

Today I wanted to write to you guys about self-love and learning to accept the amazing body you were given. Like I said, no one is perfect, we have flaws and things we don't exactly love, but you were given one body...and you should love it, no matter what. 

Of course, easier said than done, and I still struggle with it because it's a long process, but it's worth it. 

Here are some things that have helped me work towards loving and accepting myself, curves, cellulite, fat, and all!! 

1. Stop the fat talk! 
Every time I would look in a mirror I would pick apart my body. I hated this spot here and wanted to move that fat there... Of course it doesn't work like that though. I would say I looked fat and gross...and you know what... I started to feel that way too. I hated how negative I was and it was overflowing into other areas of my life. Instead of bashing your body, write down things you love about yourself and your body and put them around your mirror. Each day you will then be reminded of all the wonderful things about yourself! 

2. Find a workout regimen you love!
It doesn't matter if it's walking, dancing in your underwear (which I love!), lifting weights, yoga, swimming... Whatever! Find something that gets your heart pumping and those endorphins flowing! Exercise is not only good for your body but it's good for your mind. I've found I am way happier when I workout regularly. I recently started Crossfit and I AM IN LOVE! It's an amazing workout and I love the family I have become a part of! Find something you feel excited about it and don't give up! 

3. Throw out the scale! 
Not going to lie, sometimes I still weigh myself just to see that I haven't fallen off the wagon tooooo much... But I used to weigh myself multiple times a day, and it got crazy.  I actually am smaller than I was at my lowest weight but it weigh about 10 pounds more. I started lifting heavy weights and I am way more toned than when I weighed less. I try to focus more on how I feel and how my clothes fit. I love to take pictures and compare them, it's amazing the differences you can see that the scale doesn't show. Do not let your happiness be defined by a number on a stupid scale, you are more than just a number. 

4. Find a healthy eating plan that works for you! 
Not every meal plan works for everyone and some people are more sensitive to certain foods. It has taken me years to find what works. I definitely struggle with my eating because I love naughty foods but I try my hardest to eat clean. I try not to eat processed foods because I always feel better when I don't! Also make sure you are eating enough! Lots of protein and veggies guys! Do some research and figure out something that works for you and stick with it! Buuuuut...if you do slip up, don't beat yourself up. We all do it, move on, drink some water, and eat healthy your next meal. Don't sabotage your day or week because of one slip up. 

5. Surround yourself with people who support you! 
This is a major one! If you surround yourself with negative people and people who don't support your journey to a healthier and happier you, then you're going to be a more negative person and it's going to be a lot harder of a journey. Find people who love you, support you, and embrace the true you!!! 

I hope that what I've written today helps you or at least makes you feel you are not alone. It's a long journey and it takes a lot of mental strength...but you can be happy in the body you were given. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and you need to embrace it! 

If you want to read about my journey, head on over to my blog! 

http://fitfatandallthat.wordpress.com

Have a beautiful day everyone. 

~xoxo, Julia

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Thank you so much Julia for doing this collaboration with me! 

Have a beautiful day friends! 

Dre