20 Lessons from my 30th Year

I love a good self reflection. With my 31st birthday approaching next week, I wanted to share some reflections of lessons I really ‘practiced’ this past year. haha These are in no particular order and have to do with all areas of life.

1. Saying no does not make you a bad person. I’ve really exercised my ability to say no and honor my best interests.

2. Being one of the last of your friend group to get married is amazing. Having so many bridesmaids who have already planned weddings (or been in multiple) is a blessing and so helpful.

3. Being engaged is one of the most magical times of life. Prepare to giggle a lot.

4. Joining a challenge that seems really hard (i.e. the BIPOC author only reading challenge for a year), is a great sign that it’s something you need to try. It’s one of the best things I’ve ever done.

5. I am so grateful for my body’s ability to move. I cannot imagine my mental health story without the ability to use cycling and running as a means of therapy.

6. Talk less and listen more.

7. I feel my best when I get to bed early and read before falling asleep. Same goes for waking up early to spend time alone reading.

8. Planning a wedding is harder than it looks and can bring up a lot of past emotions you didn’t know you needed to work through. It’s also the most fun I’ve ever had planning the day I get to marry my best friend. (aka SO WORTH IT).

9. The more nieces and nephews I am blessed with, the better life gets. If my heart can grow this much from nieces and nephews, I can’t imagine what having children feels like.

10. You don’t have to physically give birth to be a mother. You can mother your friends, your family, others’ children.

11. I love wearing a mask at the grocery store so I can be sly and get and out quickly without seeing anyone I know.

12. I also love wearing a mask for moments when I’m doing makeup and don’t have to worry if people can smell my coffee breath.

13. Sourdough bread making isn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be.

14. Writing a cookbook is still hard, but we’re almost there!

15. Life is truly lived in the little moments. With each year I appreciate the tiny details more, as they are responsible for so much of life’s daily joy.

16. Being the bride after all of these years of working in the bridal industry, is a weird feeling. It’s ok if you don’t feel super bridal. Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be a bride, or won’t enjoy it. It just might take longer for you to have it sink in. Plus, it’s about the marriage, not just the wedding day!

17. Turning 30 was absolutely amazing. If you are nearing it, embrace it. It’s exponentially better than your 20’s haha (and my 20’s were awesome)!

18. While I never would have wished the pandemic on anyone, I am grateful that it confirmed what I already knew…I can spend every second with only Mikey and still miss him the minute he walks out that front door.

19. Setting a realistic wedding budget is CRUCIAL. I cannot imagine this process without my budget.

20. You do not have to work every second of every day, to have a successful small business. Burnout is real and resting is great. Also work life balance is something you are continually striving for, so don’t be so hard on yourself if it feels like you haven’t mastered it. Life and businesses have seasons.

See you on the other side when I’m 31!!!

Andrea

Unsolicited Wedding Advice from a Married Financial Planner

I am so honored to welcome Stephanie A Trexler, CFP®, a previous Andrea Fontana Beauty bride and CEO and Owner of Golden Goose Wealth Planning to the blog! When I got engaged in February, I asked her to share her wealth of knowledge with those of us who are in the planning stages of our weddings! Be sure to check out her business when you are done reading and share this information with anyone you know who is newly engaged! Thank you Steph.

Everyone has an opinion when it comes to weddings and it has been said that weddings bring out the crazy in everyone! Here are a few things I wish I would have known before my big day!

∙       Do research before you set a budget- Do not put the cart before the horse! My husband and I picked a random number for a budget because we thought that is what the wedding SHOULD cost, turns out we were off by $10,000. We had not done our research and taken the time to figure out what the kind of wedding we wanted would realistically cost. It would have had a better idea of a realistic cost beforehand; it would have saved many disagreements in the future!

∙       Get organized- Get a physical wedding planner. My sister gave me a custom wedding planner for our engagement gift. It was super helpful having everything in one place. I carried it around with my in my purse and always had my checklists at my fingertips. You will also want to make a spreadsheet and save it in a place where you can easily share it with your fiancé. You will want to make sure you have the following tabs:

o   Guestlist

o   Addresses

o   Budget & Payment Due Dates

o   Day of schedule, 

o   Vendor contact information

∙       Go to the wedding expos- They might seem cheesy, but they have tons of great ideas and I made a lot of great contacts at the one I went to. This is also a great opportunity to start getting an idea of how much things cost. At the expo I attended, a caricature artist was setting up her business and she was offering a discount if I booked with her that day. This allowed us to add a nice touch to our wedding that was very affordable. 

∙       Think creatively where you register-You might think you really need that waffle maker but consider also registering for things for your home such as tools and yard equipment. After you move into your “big-kid home there are a lot of leaves to rake and driveways to shovel. Those gift cards to Home Depot will come in handy in the future and save you money down the line! Consider using a wedding registry website that allows you to register at multiple stores. 

∙       Hire a day of coordinator-Yes, it is an extra expense, but 1000% worth it. Skip the Starbucks, work a side hustle, or pick up some babysitting jobs to make it happen! Having a day of coordinator allowed me to relax with my bridesmaids and drink mimosas. On top of that, she was able to take all the decorations I had bought and made and arrange them even better than I ever could have myself. She has an eye for weddings and her personal touch made all the difference! Leave setting up to the professionals and enjoy your day!

∙       Flower Captain-On the day of your wedding, assign someone you trust to make sure everyone including parents and grandparents gets their boutonnieres and corsages. Give that person a list of who’s supposed to get what. I made the mistake of sending the boutonnieres and corsages to the groom’s room, and not all of the grandparents received theirs on time. This is a great job for a significant other of a groomsman!

∙       Allocate extra time- Weddings always seem to run behind. Set yourself up for success and give yourself an extra half-hour buffer between items on your itinerary. Things come up! Someone might need to stop at the store on the way back from the salon, a traffic jam slowed down the trolley or a groomsman needs a belt! Plan extra time into your day to ensure your ceremony and reception do not get delayed!

∙       Talk about money with your fiancé- Money is one of the top fights between couples. There is a good chance you were raised differently and have different values around money. It is ok to have different opinions, the important thing is to understand the WHY behind why your partner thinks the way they do. 

∙       Relax and enjoy- Planning a wedding can be a stressful time, but also the most magical. It all goes by so fast. Soak up every bit of it and enjoy the journey. There are very few times in life where all the attention is on you. Everyone will give you their opinion, but just remember everyone is excited and eager to help. Do not forget to take five minutes for you and your husband alone on your big day! 

 Happy Planning!

-Loyally, 

Stephanie A Trexler, CFP®

Stephanie is the CE0 and owner of Golden Goose Wealth Planning. She helps couples plan and save for the future. Be sure to reserve your spot in Stephanie’s Newlywed class today. https://calendly.com/ggwealthplanning/newlywed